One year follow-up

Exactly 12 months ago was my bilateral mastectomy.

As a celebration I competed in a local weightlifting competition. This event was also my first competition a year ago. Despite the weight loss and although I hand't managed such weights in training I really wanted to repeat the weights lifted for the clean & jerk a year ago, 55kg - 58kg - 61kg.  It went fine until the clean of 61kg, which I caught badly. I was feeling disappointed that I had to drop it. But  then I thought "No way am I going to loose this bar!!!" And with sheer willpower and a little stumbling on the platform  I managed to save it. It is surprising how little time it takes to think all these thoughts and feel all these feelings and still act timely.

On the one hand I am much healthier now than I was then and feel awesome. The one year follow-up tests (blood lab values) were super good and better than before.  And I think about the cancer less and less, although it is a chronic disease.
On the other hand I have to take Tamoxifen for 4 more years. It has side effects. I take only half the dose to the dismay of the oncologist. Clearly tamoxifen has a good track record (it's been around for 30 years) of preventing recurrences. The unanswered question is how to balance the risk of recurrence with the risk of long term side effects increasing comorbidities for somebody with little or no risk factors like myself.